duminică, 27 noiembrie 2011

Straight to the heart

Chapter nine: 
    "The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse."

I took a leap of faith, I know, but the universe took me by surprise...
Not so long ago I was sitting in my room, alone, in my chair in front of the window and I was staring in void and thinking about my life, about where, how and when I screwed up...My eyesight became blurry, I realized I was alone and disappointed...but I promised myself something so, I couldn't run, I couldn't hide, I had to face the facts and the consequences of my past actions! I knew what I needed, I knew what I had to do...Suddenly I felt my cheeks wet...tears were bursting from my eyes. I went to the bathroom to wash my face...I felt the cold water flooding my pores...when I lifted my face from my palms and looked straight ahead I saw my reflection in the mirror...I looked awful, I didn't know the person that stared back at me...at least, I didn't want to get to know her. My world was falling apart and I was in the middle...After an awful week came a pretty hard and miserable weekend......I can still remember that Sunday afternoon, I was with Easy D at my place, we were getting ready to go out and visit a friend. On the way to our friend's work we got into a fight and she decided to return back home...I was alone and pretty pissed waiting for the 301 bus...eventually the bus arrived, I got on it and to my surprise I found a wallet on a seat...one wallet that turned my world upside down! I studied the content of the wallet and when I arrived to my friends work I asked him to help me get in touch with the owner of the wallet so I can return it. The owner was a foreign student that stayed in the dorms, so I found out the phone number of the dorm administrator and Monday morning I called him. He told me I just missed the guy so I left my info and hang up the phone. I remember seeing some credit cards in the wallet so I called my bank representative and asked him to put an alert on his accounts. After half an hour my phone rang...it was him. I answered the phone, not knowing that one good deed can bring so many things with it...good and bad! We met in the town, A. came along with his friend W. I was glad I was able to make A. smile! He insisted to buy me a coffee...so we went into a bar. I got to know A. and W. over that coffee but I had no idea what will happen after a few minutes! Everything was nice, we were enjoying ourselves talking about all kinds of things...I was telling them how I found the wallet...sometime after I finished my story W.'s phone rang and he told us his cousin was coming.
I can still remember one moment like it happened yesterday...I took a sip of coffee and after I laid the cup down on the table, I looked up...I saw JohnDoes eyes...it was electrifying. I couldn't breathe..and to my surprise he stopped at our table! He was the boy that had to arrive...W.'s cousin! In that moment my heart stood still, my system was shutting down, I felt numb, I couldn't move or think...And then we touched and it was like an epi shot straight to the heart, it revived me! That was how JohnDoe made me feel in just a couple of minutes...that was it, that day I've become an addict.......

"Love is a form of addiction...and addiction is something I should know something about."

End of part nine


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