marți, 25 octombrie 2011

Mr. Big

Chapter three:

"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going."

I was still seeing Mr. Steamy...and things didn't went so well between us, I told you guys I can't really remember when, how, and why we broke-up...But during the end of my relationship with Mr. Steamy I kinda met someone by accident. I met Mr. Big with whom I started to talk...and that's the story I'm telling you tonight...
I remember I was asking myself what does love mean...what exactly? At that moment in time I really couldn't find the answer. I felt like I was screaming and no one could hear my scream...I was lost, I felt empty, naked. I wished someone could hug me and never let go...but at the same time I kept asking myself why can't I find that security and affection anymore in the arms of my first man...Even if I was at the beginning of the end of my relationship with Mr. Steamy and even if I had my friends around me I still felt lost...I felt like an orchid in the desert...I know now I created some deep wounds in someone's heart but that wasn't exactly my intention...but as we all know, our actions speak for themselves...And at that time my actions created something I couldn't understand for quite some time...
I can still remember that night, I was alone in my room, on my computer and I was searching the private network hub for some stuff. I had a fight on the main chat with a stupid guy that couldn't stop swearing...I told him some words and after that, the hub admin, told him that he was banned from the hub for swearing...I was pleased with his action and I started a private conversation to thank him for banning that stupid guy. I didn't knew that then and there, I was going to have my first conversation with my next great love...and in spite of not knowing that, in the following days Mr. Steamy and I broke-up after a fight...The days passed and Mr. Big and I spend a lot of time talking ...One day he asked me out...he invited me to a movie, of course I said "yes" was April 13th and he came in a taxi and we went to the movies...It was a great night...I literally can't remember the name of the movie we watched...After the movie ended we walked home...It was a nice first date, he looked great, I was lost in his beautiful brown eyes, and he had a perfect smile! We were having one of those great first dates that you can only have when it's not an actual date! I was intrigued by him even if I thought he was a bit cocky...When we arrived in front of my place I turn to face him and thank him for a brilliant night out and I watched as he leaned over to kiss me on the lips...but I turned my cheek...I said goodnight and I went inside...Well...after that I spend the whole night thinking what the hell was in my head when I turned my cheek!!! I called myself a moron until I fell asleep...A few days passed and I tried to invite him out but his answer was always the same: 
- "Sorry, I'm busy working, maybe another time"... I was literally going insane!! I didn't knew what to think...Well, my answer came shortly after...He finally invited me out for drinks...Actually, we went out for drinks a few times...After almost two months, we went to another movie...we sat close to each other and he was holding my hand...I felt like I was flying...I had butterflies in my stomach...I was secretly wishing he would kiss me...but that didn't happen until the last minutes of the movie...When he leaned over me and our lips came together...I was shaking inside!!! He had his hand on my neck and I felt how my left hand grabbed the back of his head...That first kiss, it was like magic...The movie was over and the lights came on...and we stopped kissing and he looked at me, smiled and told me he had a problem...I asked him what was the problem and his face went down, and my eyes went along...his eyes were facing his manly toy...and I felt my face going red...I grabbed his hand, we got up, and I put myself in front of him and we walked out of the theater like that..It was really funny but I was feeling really good!!! That's how we hooked up...funny story, eh?! Yes, it is...
I promised myself not to have sex with him in the first week...I thought he would think I was an easy catch...I was kidding myself ...That plan didn't workout :))) He invited me over to stay the night and yes, we had sex, mind blowing, brilliant sex... I remember my face when I saw his manly toy ... it was big, pink and perfect!!! That night I had my first orgasm with Mr. Big...And let me tell you this one thing: when Big colored, he rarely stayed within the lines! 

That's the beginning of my love story with Mr. Big...We were together for one year and a half...It was great...the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the hard, the easy...all of it! At the beginning of the end we were fighting a lot...and I still can remember how frightened I was at the thought of losing him...but eventually that happened and we broke-up...I was devastated...I couldn't understand what happened to us along the way...where did we really loose our connection...I really loved him...and I know he loved me...I was in denial for a long time...But that's another chapter of my story...

End of part three


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